


(The Coroner will Call it) A Broken Heart

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Series: The Ballad of a Dove [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Forced Bonding, M/M, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-25 22:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7550410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Have you even gone to see him?"</i>
</p><p><i>Keith's on his feet in an instant. "What point is there?" he snaps, fingers clawing through his hair. "He's not there! His body's there, but it's not him! He's not there and he's not… he's not </i>Lance<i>."</i></p><p>Hunk makes a very good a point, and it forces Keith to face facts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(The Coroner will Call it) A Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> As always, a huge thank you to [Matt](http://corgiss.tumblr.com/) for the drive-by beta, and all remaining mistakes are my own. [Reblog from here!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/post/147772462188/fic-the-coroner-will-call-it-a-broken-heart) Fic title from [Better Dig Two by The Band Perry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIdCo_QAz_E), series title from [If I Die Young by The Band Perry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJqUN9TClM)

Keith doesn't go back down to the cells to see Lance. Pidge has been keeping him apprised of Zheerun's progress, and Hunk has been keeping him more or less apprised of Karala's, but after the one time Shiro tried to tell him how Lance was doing and Keith had responded by storming out of the room, no one had tried that again. But even though he isn't sure if he really wants to know, Keith finds himself wondering about Lance more and more as time goes on. At night, he takes the chain out from under his shirt as he lies in bed, the rings that hang from its length a vivid reminder of everything he’d wanted for him and Lance. He misses Lance almost worse than he did before, the ache of knowing that he's so close and yet still so far out of Keith's reach making the pain sharper and more intense than the dull ache he'd been forced to get used to over the last two years. He still misses Lance, but he's also sick and tired of missing him; he just wants his lover back, and nothing less than that will ever be enough.

But he doesn't go to see him.

Instead, in the week after they rescue Lance--what's left of him, that is--Keith flies not one, not two, but nine solo missions. Shiro practically has to lock him in his room to get him to rest after he goes on five in a row, and even after that, Keith doesn't think he's going to be able to slow down. There's an agitation under his skin, a need to crawl out of his own body and mind for a few hours in a way that only missions can really soothe. So he does the work they're here to do, fighting the good fight, and, for a while, it's enough. He knows something's going to have to give eventually, but in the meantime he's going to go on doing his damnedest to put a dent in the Galra forces that have been slowly reclaiming parts of the universe over the last two years that Voltron's final form has been out of commission.

It's at the end of that long week that Hunk finds him in the sitting room, still suited up and waiting for the next distress call that he can follow up on. Keith doesn't say anything, just sitting with his head resting back on the back of the couch while he waits Hunk out.

He doesn't have to wait long. "Have you even gone to see him?"

Keith's on his feet in an instant. "What the fuck point is there?" he snaps, fingers clawing through his hair. "He's not there! His body's there, but it's not him! He's not there and he's not… he's not _Lance_." He squeezes his eyes shut, fingers tangling in the chain at his throat. "He's not the man I fell in love with."

"So you're saying you don't love him anymore."

Keith rounds on Hunk, feeling the anger blazing under his skin. "That's not what I said! Don't you fucking put words in my mouth."

"Tell me what you meant, then."

"It's-- I'm-- He's--" Keith huffs out a frustrated breath. "It's not the same."

Hunk nods. "Yeah. We all knew it wouldn't be."

"I know, but…" Keith wraps his arms around his stomach, like it can keep the truth at bay. "I just… I thought he might be okay. I had to believe we hadn't failed him so completely."

"But we did," Hunk says, voice clear and sharp. "We failed him. We left him behind and even though we spent two years trying to find him, we weren't fast enough. They broke him." Keith flinches at the calm assertion. "But what we can do now has nothing to do with what we couldn't do then. We have a chance to make it right, Keith. And you're wasting it. You've already spent the last two years regretting things you didn't do. Don't make the same mistake again."

Keith can only turn and stare at Hunk's retreating back as his words slowly sink in.

\----

In the end, Hunk's words are really all it takes for Keith to buck up and make himself go back down to the cells. After his not-confrontation with Hunk, he lies awake all night, and the next cycle he barely has to look at the disappointed look on Hunk and Shiro's faces before he finds the strength to go down to the cells and check on Lance, rings tucked securely under his shirt again.

When he makes it down to the cells, one of the Galra is speaking in low tones. Having not been down to the cells since that first day when they first brought Lance back, Keith isn't sure which one it is until he rounds the corner and sees them. Zheerun is sitting stoically in the corner, her arms crossed and her books in a quarter circle around her, while Karala cradles Lance in her arms, sliding her fingers through his hair. Keith briefly considers turning around and walking away--Lance is fine, that much is clear, and isn’t that all he’d wanted to know?--but even from this far away the two year old ache in his chest from missing Lance has lessened, and he can't deprive himself of this one comfort now that he's gotten brave enough to take it. As he approaches the cell, he realizes that Karala isn't actually speaking. She's singing. Intrigued, he makes his way over to the cell, and settles down in front of Karala, though he only has eyes for Lance. Karala goes on singing until she's evidently finished her song before she looks up at Keith. She smiles, and then looks down at Lance.

"Look, Child," she says softly. "The red one has come to see you."

Lance peeks out from where he has his face nestled into Karala's shoulder. He looks curious from where he's curled up in her arms, and Keith takes that as a good sign. "Hey, Lance," he says quietly. "How are you?"

Lance curls back into Karala, looking for all the world like a shy toddler hiding behind his mother's skirts. "It's okay, Child," Karala says gently. "He's a friend." Lance peeks out again, meeting Keith's eyes cautiously.

Keith's throat goes tight at the childlike curiosity in those eyes, so like what he remembers, and yet so dissimilar at the same time. His clears his throat, trying to get rid of the tightness (it doesn't work), and gets to his feet automatically. "I'm sorry," he says, throat thick, "I shouldn’t have come. I’ll--"

But Lance starts whining, soft and low in the back of his throat, and Karala moves immediately to hush him. "It's okay, Child, it's okay. You don't have to be scared. He'll come back."

Keith stops short. "What… what did you just say to him?"

"He's scared you'll disappear again," Karala says, not looking at Keith. "Just like you did last time."

The words are a blow to Keith's chest, and he immediately drops to the ground again, all but collapsing in front of the cell. "Jesus, Lance, is that what you're scared of? That I'm going to leave you behind again?"

Lance doesn't respond, just curls in closer against Karala.

Keith can barely breathe through the ache and hurt he feels at knowing that Lance doesn't have that same faith in Keith he'd had two years ago. The same faith that had let him walk into the lion's den (hah, Keith can't ignore the irony in the phrase) and know that Keith would come for him. In the last two years, Keith doesn't think he's ever been glad that Lance had had that much faith in him, especially when Keith failed so spectacularly. But for all that he hadn't been glad, he'd at least been been proud that he'd done something to earn that faith. Knowing that he's let Lance down so thoroughly and that Lance no longer believes that Keith will do anything to be at his side may be the worst part of how badly Keith's failed, and it aches. He finds himself tripping over his words to assure Lance that he's never going to let him get hurt like this again. "God, Lance, no. I'm not leaving you again. I swear it. You're my whole life, Lance, and I'm not going to let you out of my sight ever again! Not if I can help it."

The whining quiets, and Lance actually lifts his head to look up at Keith.

"I swear, Lance. I'm not letting you go again."

"Promise?"

It's Karala's voice instead of Lance's, but the tone is so like the lover that Keith remembers that he almost breaks. "I promise. I'm never leaving you behind again."

It's a ghost of the smile that Keith fell in love with, but the corners of Lance's mouth twitch up ever so slightly, and Keith falls in love all over again. Lance isn't the man he used to be, not by a long shot, and he may never be, but Keith knows he's going to find a way to bring some semblance of that man back to him. It may take longer than the team can afford, but they've waited long enough for Lance already.

The team can wait a little longer, and so can Keith. He’ll wait as long as he has to for Lance.

\----

After that first visit, Keith starts making a point of visiting Lance every cycle. He makes time to sit on the other side of the glass from Lance, telling him stories of the years Lance had been gone. Of missions gone right and missions gone wrong and missions where they could have used Lance's ingenuity and gung-ho attitude. That spot on the ground across from Lance becomes his favorite spot in the castle, surpassing even the training room.

The best part is the way Lance slowly comes out of the shell he'd apparently taken refuge in during his time with the Galra. The first time Lance pulls away from Karala and moves closer to the glass when Keith comes in might be the best moment Keith's had since he saw Lance on that Galra cruiser three weeks before, even if it brings with it the sharp reminder of just how bad Lance's injuries had been when the team had given him over to Galra custody.

Because it seems, for all that they healed whatever had been done to him while they tested the limits of the human body, they'd never bothered to completely heal the scars from that last battle. Burn scars still mar the left side of Lance's jaw and face, and Keith can easily imagine them extending down over most of his arm as well. He hadn't thought much of the fact that Lance always curled against Karala in the same way, but a part of him wonders now if it has something to do with the burns.

He hopes it doesn't.

For all that being back in Lance's presence is a much-needed balm, Keith never gets brave enough to slip into the cell to actually be physically close to Lance. He's not sure where the instinct comes from--maybe some memory from those years together before he lost Lance--but he can tell that the moment they get to be together in the same space again for the first time isn't a moment that he gets to choose. Lance is dictating the terms of their interactions now, and Keith has to abide by that. Keith wasn't always the most patient soul in the world, but Shiro has been a diligent teacher, and in the years they've been apart, Keith's learned how to wait. For Lance, he'll wait. He has to wait, especially if he ever wants to slip a ring over Lance's finger. Besides, he knows better than anyone that Lance will pull through. He's sure of it.

But while Keith may be sure of Lance's strength, but the rest of the team doesn't seem to be. Pidge and Allura have been doing everything they can to figure out how to help Lance, and though they've been giving daily updates, Keith has barely been listening. They're ten minutes into one such daily report on Lance's progress when Pidge utters the phrase "aiming for a partial recovery at best," easy as anything. As soon as the words register, Keith absolutely loses it.

"Partial recovery? Are you kidding me, Pidge?"

Pidge sighs like they've been expecting an outburst like this. "Keith, he was imprisoned for two years. He was tortured, both physically and medically if Allura's scans and Karala's reports are accurate, and that only scratches the surface of what they could have done to him. There could be plenty more that we don't even know about. Karala said he's closed off certain parts of his mind from her, and she thinks the parts she can't see are some of the worst things that K'tok put him through. Worse even than what she's been able to access through their bond, and that's bad enough. We'll be lucky if we can get him verbal again, Keith, let alone much of anything else."

"Come on, Pidge, Shiro came through more or less in one piece! So did your family!" Pidge stiffens at that, but Keith ignores it, forging ahead. "If they can make it through, Lance can too. Don't give me this crap."

Pidge looks over at Shiro, who nods, clearly taking over the conversation. "Let me put it to you this way, Keith," Shiro says, leaning forward and clasping his hands between his knees. "I was experimented on out of Druid curiosity. An interest in what the human body's limits were, without a full-fledged concept of what limits they were looking for. It was different for Lance." Shiro looks up, meeting Keith's eyes head on, and the seriousness and ferocity there makes Keith's breath catch. "Lance was tortured, not just out of interest, but with the intent of breaking him. There's a difference. I don't know how much we can do for him."

Keith feels his blood go cold at the easy assertion. "You don't know that," he whispers.

"I do. Like Pidge said, Karala painted a very vivid picture of what she knows was done to him, and that isn't even a fraction of the whole picture. I can to go into detail if you want me to."

"Fuck you," Keith spits out.

Shiro sighs, rubbing his mechanical arm over his face, a vivid and unwanted reminder of why Lance is in this situation in the first place. "I'm sorry, Keith. I don't know how to make this any plainer to you. Lance was _tortured_. People don't just bounce back from that, not even fully trained soldiers and spies, and for as good a pilot as Lance was, he was neither of those things. He's strong, and maybe he'll be fine, but we don't know that. We have to prepare for the worst."

"Fuck you, Shiro. Lance is twice the man you ever were. He's gonna come through just fine."

The second the words pass his lips, Keith regrets them. Shiro's lips thin into a tight line in response. "You're hurting and angry, so I'm going to let that one slide, but you would do well to watch your tone. You have no idea what the Druids are capable of, and you should count yourself lucky for that."

Keith knows he's out of line, knows he isn't the only one hurting, and he forces himself to look over at Hunk while he seethes. Because Keith may have been Lance's lover, but Hunk was his best friend, and if anyone else is going to understand how much it hurts to have Lance back, but to not have him _back_ , it'll be Hunk.

But Hunk is hanging his head, his whole body slumped forward like he doesn't have the strength to hold it up. Hunk's spent at least as much time with Lance as Keith has, and he, at least, has actually been listening to what Pidge and Allura have been saying since they first brought him aboard three weeks ago. Keith's only been able to even sit down at these sessions for about a week, and even then, he's barely been listening. So if Hunk believes what Pidge is saying…

Allura reaches out, one hand on Keith's shoulder. "The good news, Keith, is that he's shown incredible progress since you've started going to see him. Those first two weeks were awful. He and Karala wouldn't even let me or Pidge near him. But he's started letting us close, and we've been able to get much better readings on his physical state and more information about his mental state in the last week, which gives us a place to start. It's more than we were hoping for at first, and it's something that we should be grateful for. There's a chance he will recover, we just… we don't want you to get your hopes up. Not after you've been hurt so much already. But there's a chance. We should be grateful for that, at least."

Keith purses his lips and doesn't let himself answer, knowing the words will be poorly received.

_I'll be grateful when I can hold him in my arms again._

\----

They've been avoiding taking group missions for the last month while they try to focus on helping Lance, but when the call comes in from Shay and the rest of the Balmerans, all it takes is Hunk biting his lip to keep from saying anything for Keith to know they all have to jump into action on this one. Shiro takes one look at him, and Keith realizes that the whole team has been holding back for him. That Hunk and Shiro and even Pidge have probably all gone out on solo missions and kept them from Keith while he recuperated and mourned a man that was right in front of him. So Keith draws himself up to his full height and says, "Let's go take the bastards down."

The pride in Shiro's eyes is enough to soothe some of the worry in Keith's chest at leaving Lance behind, even just for a few hours.

\----

It ends up being more than a few hours.

\----

By the time Coran gets the portal back up and running to get them back to the castle, Keith's been badly injured. The Galra forces were nowhere near as bad as they'd been the last time the team had gone to protect the Balmera, but Keith's out of practice after three weeks without flying a single mission. In hindsight, it isn't really a shock that one of the soldiers got the jump on him and ran his shoulder through with their blade. Shiro insists that he spend the requisite time in a healing pod, and normally Keith wouldn't really have it in him to argue, but he hasn't seen Lance in more than a full cycle, and after promising that he wouldn't leave him again, Keith can't shake the gnawing anxiety in his chest.

"I swear, Shiro, I'll go up to the infirmary and heal up as soon as I've gone to see him," Keith says, all but shoving his weight off their leader when Shiro tries to drag him up to the infirmary instead of down to the cells. "I'm not going to let Lance's recovery slide just because of a little flesh wound."

Pidge rolls their eyes at him. "It's a little more than a flesh wound, Keith. Lance will be fine for a couple of hours, which is all you'll really need in the pod anyway."

Keith frowns, wavering. He certainly is in a lot of pain, and if Pidge really thinks Lance will be okay…. He shakes his head. "Five minutes, Pidge. It won't hurt me, and I'm pretty sure it'll help Lance."

Pidge rolls their eyes again, and both they and Hunk head off, presumably to their quarters, evidently knowing better than to argue with a stubborn Keith. Shiro, for his part, still looks skeptical.

"I'm coming down with you," he says, stepping forward and slinging Keith's uninjured arm back over his shoulder to support his weight. "I don't trust you to only spend five minutes down there."

Keith laughs indulgently and lets Shiro support his weight as they make their way down to the cells. "Whatever you say, Captain."

When they make it down to the cells, Lance is sitting with his back to the room, and from the set of his spine, Keith can tell he's probably pouting. He sighs, certain for the moment that he made the right choice.

Shiro comes to a stop in front of the cell, still supporting Keith's weight. "Hey Lance," Keith says, voice remorseful. "Sorry I'm late."

Lance glances over his shoulder for a brief moment, a look of disdain on his face, before turning back around, clearly ready to go back to pouting. Then he turns back to Keith sharply, doing a doubletake. He scrambles to his feet, stumbling across the cell to come to a stop right on the other side of the glass from Keith, his eyes wide.

It's only then that Keith realizes the picture he must paint, the whole right side of his body covered in blood from the Galra's attack.

Maybe Pidge had had a point about going to the infirmary first.

Lance starts whining, and Karala looks up from where she and Zheerun had been poring over Zheerun's books. Karala's eyes go wide as well, and she glances between Lance and Keith worriedly.

Just as Karala opens her mouth to say something, Lance scrambles over to the other side of the cell, slapping his hand against the glass three times in quick succession. Keith frowns. "I don't know what you're asking me, Lance," he says, trying to be patient.

Lance looks pointedly at where his hand is placed against the glass and slaps it again a few times before looking meaningfully back over at Keith.

Keith just shakes his head. "Lance--"

"He wants you to open the cell, genius," Shiro says, and Keith glances up at him. There's an indulgent smile on his face, and Keith suddenly feels every inch of the sluggishness that comes from a stab wound.

"Oh."

Shiro rolls his eyes and gently helps Keith over to the other side of the cell, and Keith obediently lifts his hand to the locking mechanism to open the cell. Lance practically tumbles out, and it's only Shiro's quick reflexes that keep him from toppling onto Keith and jarring his injury. Lance rights himself quickly enough, and then his hands are dancing over Keith's shoulder, his whining getting higher and more agitated by the second. Keith reaches out, stilling Lance's hands gently.

"I'm okay," he says softly.

Lance shakes his head, still whining, and Keith releases his hands so that he can press them to Keith's shoulder again. Lance draws his hands away repeatedly, eyes flicking from the blood on his fingers to Keith's shoulder. It isn't until he starts shaking that Keith realizes this might not even be helping Lance the way he'd intended. It might be hurting him instead.

"Shiro," he starts, but Karala cuts him off.

"Child," she calls, and Lance looks over his shoulder at her. They have some sort of silent conversation (Keith tries to ignore the twinge of jealousy in his stomach) and then Lance is turning back around to him, his head tilted to the side with a curious hope in his eyes. "Tell him what happened, Keith," Karala says.

Keith blinks. He looks down at Lance, who's looking back up at him curiously. "Um. Well… we were on the Balmera--you remember Shay? Her Balmera--and one of the Galra got the jump on me. He… well. I mean, I guess you can see what happened, but… he stabbed me. It's nothing a few hours in a healing pod can't fix, but I didn't want you to think I'd abandoned you."

Lance blinks a few times, then turns back around to face Karala. They have another one of those silent conversations, and then Karala's rolling her eyes and chuckling. "He wants you to know that next time he'd rather you go straight to a healing pod rather than come down here. Your wellbeing is the most important thing. Also, he's glad that it wasn't anything more serious."

Keith snorts, both at Karala's words and the way Lance flushes. "Did he really say that?"

"Not in so many words," Karala concedes with a grin, "but I've learned to read between the lines." That shuts down Keith's lighthearted mood with the snap of a closing book. Karala seems to sense her misstep and winces. "I didn't mean--"

"I know," Keith says, cutting her off before she can give an apology he can't accept. It's another cruel reminder of all the different ways Lance has been taken from him, and he doesn't need that right now, not when he really should be in a healing pod. He glances back up at Shiro.

Shiro takes the hint, looking up and nodding at Lance. "I should get him back up to the infirmary, then," he says, and Lance nods back, turning to slip back into the cell again.

The second before he crosses the threshold, however, he pauses, glancing back over at Keith. He darts back over to Keith, reaching up to hug him tightly.

"He's glad you're safe," Karala says, and for a moment Keith allows himself to forget that her words are a reminder of what he's lost. For a moment, he lets himself focus on what he has instead. For a moment, the pain subsides, and all that exists is the man holding him so tightly.

Maybe there's hope for them yet.

**Author's Note:**

> The next installment is shaping up to be another doozy, so it may not be up as quickly as I would like, just so you guys know. It's a crucial part of this arc of the series, and I want to make sure that I do it justice. Hope this one can tide you over in case it takes a while to finish!!
> 
> [Come hang with me on tumblr!!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/)


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